


Reawakening

by anastiel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canonical Character Death, First Kiss, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Memories, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 00:06:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18487210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastiel/pseuds/anastiel
Summary: When a god mourns a lost love, the universe mourns with him.





	Reawakening

_“I promise you brother, the sun will shine on us again.”_

 

Thor’s fingers tangle in the dark waves of Loki’s hair as silent tears coarse down his cheeks. A fire rages around him, the ship and all of his people going up into flames. He feels nothing but the ache of loss inside his chest and the softness of Loki’s hair in his hands, content to stay and die right here along with them. And then everything explodes. He’s floating, and flames lick at his body searing along his arms and the back of his neck. Thor holds tight onto his brother, his whole world enclosed within his arms.

He comes to face-first against a ship full of strange people, Loki’s body lost somewhere in the expanse of the universe. All he can think is this is the second time he’s not been able to properly say good-bye, but this time it’s not a trick, it’s real.

Later, when the dust settles, Thanos disappearing undefeated and the Avengers stagger back to the Royal Palace of Wakanda, Thor finds himself alone. The chamber Queen Ramonda gives him should be inviting to his exhausted form, but all he wants is to go back out and tear the universe in two, find Thanos and get a second chance at killing him.

But he feels weak, almost without powers, drained by the ache of loss.

Thor collapses onto the soft mattress, burying his face in his hands, and finally lets himself mourn.

“Loki.” A sob breaks from Thor’s throat, anguish present in the syllables of his brother’s name.

Outside his window, the picturesque Wakandan sunset fades away to dark, billowing clouds and a torrential downpour begins falling from the sky. Lightening crackles in the air, thunder roaring off in the distance and it echoes deep within Thor’s chest. Throughout Earth it rains, the sky crying too.

When a god mourns a lost love, the universe mourns with him.

The faces of his people, those dead and those alive, flash in front of his eyelids. Those faces which held such hope even after watching their home destroyed, if only he could go back and fix things. If only he could bring them all back, if only he could bring Loki back.

Thor’s tears drain him, and eventually he drifts off into a restless sleep. The rain stops soon after, remnants of thunder rumbling high up in the clouds all across the planet.

Thor wakes and finds himself standing in the middle of the Garden of Asgard. It’s a sunny day, early spring, with brightly colored flowers in full bloom around him. Home, he’s _home._ Suddenly, two arms wrap around his waist, and a mouth he knows intimately brushes against the shell of his ear.

“Hello, brother,” Loki whispers.

“Loki?” Thor breathes out in astonishment, turning around and stepping out of his brother’s arms. The Loki he finds standing in front of him is young, just barely out of teenhood, hair hanging long past his shoulders. He’s wearing a bright green tunic, his usual dress back then, his feet bare, and there’s a soft smile etched onto his mouth.

“Are you real?” Thor asks, stepping forward to place a hand on Loki’s arm, surprised when his hand doesn’t go through Loki instead finding his brother solid and warm beneath him.

“Of course I am, do you not remember this day, brother?” Loki asks, confusion coloring his features.

Thor looks around taking in the myriad of colors around him, the seclusion of the sacred Garden, and finds a white blossom resting in the palm of his hand. It is the appearance of the flower that  spurs his memory of this day so long ago. He sucks in a staggered breath and takes a step closer to his brother.

“I could never forget this, Loki,” Thor says, voice soft. He takes the precious flower between his fingers and reaches up, sliding the blossom into Loki’s hair, right above the curve of his ear. Thor’s fingers linger in his brother’s hair, sliding through the silky strands, before coming to rest just above his collarbone.

“This is the day I kissed you for the first time,” Thor says.

“Yes and you gave me this flower, customary only for weddings. Everyone marveled where I’d gotten it from, who had given it to me. We were so young, so unaffected by the clamor for the throne, I saw no one but you, and you no one but me.”

Thor smiles, memories flooding his mind of how he and Loki used to be, gentle and good together despite his brother’s occasional playful tricks. There was always devotion there, even when mischief turned sour, he never doubted Loki’s love for him.

“I miss those days,” Thor says, fond. He reaches up and cups Loki’s warm cheek with an open palm. “I miss you.”

Loki turns his face into Thor’s palm, soft lips pressing against his skin.

“And I you, brother. Have patience, we will see each other again one day.”

“The sun will shine on us again,” Thor says, repeating the last words Loki said to him before his death.

Loki nods, a genuine smile lighting up his face, “Soon.”

Thor drops his hand back to Loki’s shoulder, slipping his hand behind Loki’s head, stroking the hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Will you continue to visit me in my dreams?” Thor asks.

“If you wish. I will appear as whatever visage of myself you desire to see the most at the time.”

“It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s you.”

Thor doesn’t want to leave, but he can feel the waking world pulling at him, dragging him back to mourning and loneliness.

“May I kiss you? Before I go?” Thor asks.

“So gentlemanly of you to ask,” Loki teases, a smirk teasing at his mouth.

Thor rolls his eyes and drags Loki towards him. He brings their mouths together soft and chaste, just like the first time in this same garden. They share breath, and Thor clings to his brother, lips still touching even after the kiss is finished, unwilling to let go.

When Thor opens his eyes, Loki’s warmth and sweet mouth are gone and replaced with a tear-stained pillow and a dull ache reverberating through his chest.  

The bed is unwelcome and empty around him, despite the heat of the early morning sun dancing over his skin. Loki’s face remains a permanent fixture in his mind, coupled along with the memories of their home, and his people.

Today is a new dawn, the fate of all the worlds in the Universe under Thanos’ rule hanging in uncertainty. But Thor will find a way to get Loki back, to bring all of their people back. He has to, it is the only hope he has left.

**Author's Note:**

> I found this buried in my documents and figured I might as well post it. :)
> 
> If you want to come chat with me about your excitement and dread over Endgame I'm on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/anastiels)


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